He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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