haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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