This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
