I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Randomize
