i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
