We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
