look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
nutella sex= disaster
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
