Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
