first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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