I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
