I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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