forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
