Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
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