dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
