im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
