Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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