come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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