I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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