very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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