it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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