Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
