Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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