Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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