there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
