PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
