Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
