You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
