I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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