can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I puked a lego.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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