sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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