You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
