Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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