Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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