Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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