In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
