don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
