your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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