love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
