I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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