I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't put those talents on a resume
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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