i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize
