No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
