Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
