Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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