I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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