Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
you mean i was at the winter classic?
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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