fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Randomize
