Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
