I'm laying in your front yard are you home
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
