big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
