did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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