so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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